Part 2 features a duo of posts to finish up this NBA preview. Happy Holidays...
"Bimbo Coleslaw"
- Top 5 things you are most excited about for the upcoming season
I couldn't come up with five things I am excited about in the NBA now, so here is one thing I am excited for and four things I am not excited for.
The One Thing I am Excited About: Less freaking idiots watching hockey and calling sportstalk and writing on blogs. Good riddance.
Not excited for:
1. Shaq ruining the best thing the NBA had going, Inside the NBA: Some people are excited about the addition of Shaq, thinking his honesty will make him like Charles...don't count me as one of them. Shaq is a blowhard self-promoter and I can handle the cadence in which he speaks for about 7 seconds. Awful decision, should have kept C-Webb there.
2. The Clippers/Lakers debate that nobody outside of California cares about: It would take years and years of championships for the Clippers to grow a foundation bigger than the Lakers have now, no matter how many more overrated players (they have 2 of the 3 most overrated in the league now) Lob City (gay nickname) adds to their roster.
3. JIMMER!!!: Just when you thought you were done with the "cracker, grindy, awkwardly skilled compared to others at his position, religiously-obtuse, over-achiever" storyline, here comes Part 2. While not nearly as annoying as Tebow, the Jimmer will be on our TV and conscious much more than he deserves to be this winter/spring.
4. The NBA taking over SportsCenter on a nightly basis: Yes, I know that ESPN is a TV partner of the NBA and therefore that forces them to shill for Stern, but the show may as well be NBA Tonight once the NFL ends. Sportscenter for the past month or two has been a nice mix of sports...glad I didn't get used to that. Nothing is worse than a Top 10 plays that includes 7 overrated NBA dunks. Here's an update ESPN: when every person in the league can dunk, its not that special of a play anymore.
- 3 reasons the NBA regular season sucks
1. Squeezing 66 games into this timeframe is absolutely ludicrous. A stupid moneygrab by the owners, which is just going to result in bad basketball and probably a lot of injuries. Even just 60 games would have been better, but anymore than 55 makes no sense.
2. There are just too many bad basketball teams and I don't want to see a lot of them. At all. There are 30 teams in the NBA and 8-10 of them suck and have no chance at making the playoffs. Who wants to watch when 1/3 of the teams playing are awful?
3. If the players don't care about the regular season, why should we? Half the time they don't want to be out there and it shows, so why give a shit on our end? The season is a boring grind with a few bright spots. Basketball thrives in the playoffs, the regular season is largely awful.
- Break out team, player
Portland...get ready for a blooming in Rose City (and some awful junior high word puns as well). Love what the Blazers did in the off-season, despite losing Brandon Roy. Their top 8 is as deep as anyone, and I love Crawford off the bench. I felt the Bulls should have made a run at the ex-Wolverine. Break out player: Bismack Biyombo. 'Nuff said.
- Team/ player that takes a step back
The Clippers, if only a step back from the levels they have been elevated to in the press after getting Chris Paul. I don't see what everyone is so excited about, but then again I don't think that Paul or Griffin are nearly as good as a lot of people think they are. Player-wise I will go with Dirk, if only because he has to at some point.
- Best on-court storyline
Sink or swim time in OKC. They have been the NBA darlings the past year or two because of their amazing young talent. Durant and Westbrook are well-known commodities and Harden made a huge step last year, but a lot of people are concerned that Westbrook may not be the guy to play Jake to Durant's Fatman. If Presti doesn't see some big returns this season, you can probably expect him to look to move Westbrook.
- Best potential off court storyline
Kobe. Gotta be Kobe, right? Everything since the Mavs swept the Lakers has been like a line of people ready to kick Kobe in his shin when they get their chance. Phil leaves, is replaced by someone Kobe didn't want by an owner's son looking to make his personal mark, the lockout threatened to steal one of his last year's left as an alpha dog, compressed schedule to tear at his already shot knees, Stern fucking the Lakers on the Paul deal (blessing in disguise IMO), owner's son flexes muscle again by dumping Odom, his wife files for divorce on the eve of the season/holidays, and now the wrist injury. I saw a few people trying to relate Kobe to Tiger Woods...you can go ahead and stop that now. Tiger's was mentally shattered by his divorce/scandal because he handled it like a pussy trying to keep his sponsors and stature and played to the world, going to rehab for a sex addiction, taking time off for family and whatnot because that's what he was advised to do. Kobe faced something much worse when he stood trial for rape...you think a divorce is going to slow down his will to win? Did people really already forget Kobe spending days in court, jumping in a jet, flying back to LA, and then putting up monster numbers that same night? You think he is taking a year of to go to rehab and pretend he's addicted to ass? Kobe, like Jordan, weren't created in their own heads like Tiger was, they created their own will. That said, Kobe isn't going to just languish in this terrible Laker situation. Unless LA can get Howard, which I'm not sure is enough to make them a contender, I think Kobe is going to try and get out of LA. I envision a 3 team deal that results in the #2 player of all time walking past a statue of the G.O.A.T. everyday he goes into work...I mean, as long as Paxson is willing to relinquish the untouchable Luol Deng finally.
- Best random YouTube clip that should fire people up for the NBA season
Come on man, this one is easy. Anything with White Chocolate gets me excited for professional buckets, where just giving 100% each night puts you on the short list for MVP.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aE1Vs5Kq-M
- Finals prediction
Heat versus Jail Blazers, and the Heatles win it in 5. Don't like it, but I don't see anyone that will beat them. Only chance for someone to legitimately have a shot at beating Miami is if the Kobe-to-the-Bulls scenario comes to fruition, but that's just a fever dream. Dallas got stronger with that Odom move, but I don't like those older stars coming back in this sprint for the trophy. I just see this season being the coronation last season was thought to be.
"Chuck Nevitt", the Human Victory Cigar
- Top 5 things you are most excited about for the upcoming season
1. Fear and Loathing in OKC
Will James Harden emerge as superstar? Westbrook vs. Durant: It will be interesting to see the dynamic between Westbrook and Durant after so much was discussed in the playoffs. I have a strange feeling that Westbrook walks from this team looking for a big payday that OKC does not seem too concerned to give him right now. This is Durant’s team, so can Westbrook follow his lead or will he be the jealous guitarist. Also can somebody besides BoRic’s give Scotty Brooks a decent haircut?
2. Tony Allen’s twitter account
Just look at that thing… Or any NBA players twitter account for that matter. Whether it is a melt down by Agent Zero or sending an @ reply to a pornstar or some other random. The NBA players consistently provide some of the best social media laughs around
3. Welcome to NBA Hell… Portland Trailbalzers
Forget Cleveland because frankly Dan Gilbert is world class A$$hole. The biggest heartbreak over the last few seasons belongs to the Portland Trailblazers. Portland went from being a team of unlikeable (that might be a strong word, I liked Shawn Kemp) drug dealers and thugs to a young up and coming team. Then the storm came. Of course we should not be surprised that Greg Oden has not panned out considering he was 42 years old when Blazers drafted him. Also, there were red flags on Brandon Roy when he entered the league about his long term knee issues, but damn was he fun to watch when he was healthy. However, the Blazers seemed poised to make that leap back to NBA relevance by putting together some nice pieces. At this point though it seems that with Roy’s retirement and Oden’s ability to stay on the floor for seconds at a time the Blazers have once again been relegated to mediocrity or what is better known as NBA hell: a team good enough to grab one of the last few playoff seeds, but not quite good enough to compete for a championship or not bad enough to completely rebuild and grab top lottery pick and draft a game changer. Who knows the could find the next Sam Bowie in the lottery?
4. And a Blue Devil shall be your savior…
It had to happen... the only Duke Player I liked in the NBA went out and joined up with the most hated team in the league. And that makes me mad. Shane Battier may not be the answer to all Miami’s problems, but he helps answer a lot of their questions. He is a proven leader and great glue guy. He really helped the Grizz last year and hit some big shots in the playoffs. Plus, he makes Miami the scariest defensive team in the league. At least he restored order and I can continue to hate all things Duke.
Take or Leave it: The return of the NBA hipster
Whether it’s wearing fancy eye glasses, plaid shirts or being spotted at an Arcade Fire show the NBA and its players have gone the way of the hipsters. The will even become more the case once the Nets move to Brooklyn. It’s cool to like the NBA again and I think the TV ratings and the attention the league is getting will continue throughout this season all leading up to Chris Bosh wearing a Deer Tick shirt to an NBA Finals press conference.
- 3 reasons the NBA regular season sucks
1. Wait, there will be an NBA regular season this year?? Then nothing sucks. Sure the schedule will be a grind and then players will still phone in games off of those back-to-backs, but having a regular season when that all but seemed impossible two months ago is just fine with me.
I guess I should mention the inevitable awful song that ABC picks for their intro music will most certainly suck.
- Break out team, player
Apparently me and everyone else is driving or hopping on the John Wall express to superstardom. So, I will say also keep an eye out for Eric Gordon as well, who is a sneaky good value bet for scoring champion.
Call me crazy but I am very intrigued by this Sacramento Kings team, which means of course they will win about 15 games, but they should be a fun team to watch
- Worse off court storyline
The inevitable Redsox-Yankees treatment that ESPN will be giving to the Lakers and Clippers on a nightly basis. I think the Lakers are in serious trouble this season. After Kobe, Gasol and the 7 games that Bynum will play it gets really thin really fast. Also, lets slow down and all this Lob City love and nonsense and remember that Vinny Del Negro is still the coach of this team. Say it again Vinny Del Negro is still coaching the Clippers, so that means they have no chance of making it past the 1st round of the playoffs.
- Best random YouTube clip that should fire people up for the NBA season
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4PfT4UMcLY
- Finals prediction
Heat over OKC in 6 games
Finally, Joel Anthony gets his ring… And the becomes the NBA counterpart to Sam Hurd three months later
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Thanks for Reading, and till next time...
