Friday, December 23, 2011

Do they Know its Christmas: An NBA preview





Much like the collection of awesomeness that was Band-Aid I over here at the Curious Case put together a Band-Aid of sorts to preview this upcoming NBA season. I asked some of my friends to share their thoughts and predictions on the upcoming NBA season. So, here we go... NBA Aliases have been used to protect the Innocent and for comedic value.


"Tito Horford", former Milwaukee Bucks shooting guard circa 1990



Asking me for my thoughts on the NBA is kinda like asking Tim Tebow his thoughts on the female anatomy. Sure, we’re interested in both subjects (I think) but we really haven’t delved deeply into it. Yes, I’ve watched a lot more games in the past two years than I have since Jordan retired (from the Bulls) but I wouldn’t count myself as an expert by any means. Though, judging from Lakers fans here in LA, I assume you don’t actually have to know much about the game to be a so-called “expert”. So here we go, let’s get after this thing like Jerry Sandusky at a Chuck E. Cheese.

5 things I am most excited for:

5. Ricky Rubio, Entertainingly Good or Entertainingly Bad

I don’t think there is any in between with Rubio. He’s either dazzling or horrific.

4. Are the Bulls ready for the Finals?

Is Rip the 2 guard answer? I would rather have a guy who can create his own shot, but he will suffice and be a bitch on defense. But does that get the Bulls into the Finals? More on this later.

3. LeBron James, Put that Coffee Down

LeBron James is better at basketball than anyone on the planet. Generally speaking, when you know you are the best, you take the lead or at least want the ball when the game is on the line. So far, LeBron has been anything but that guy. Sure, he can put up 50 as part of a triple-double vs. the Wizards in February, but can he put the team on his back in May? No one truly knows. There are a lot of people who say, “He just needs time” or “He’ll learn how to close, he has to, it’s what great athletes do” but I’m not so sure. MJ was a closer before even coming to the league. Kobe has never shied away from it. The best don’t need to learn it, they just DO IT. My thoughts on LeBron haven’t changed in years. He’s playing “not to lose” instead of playing to win. As Alec Baldwin said in Glengary Glen Ross, “Coffee is for closers” and until LeBron shows me something, all he’s going home with every year is a new set of steak knives.

2. Lakers vs Clippers

The Chris Paul deal is a game changer here in LA. For the first time in god knows how long, the Clip Show is eclipsing the Lake Show. This will drive Lakers fans insane and I will enjoy every minute of it. There is a sense of entitlement among Lakers fans. If they aren’t a better team than the Clippers (and at this point there is zero chance of that happening) heads will roll. Also, with Kobe’s pending divorce, I could also see both of the following happening:
1) He takes out anger on the league and jacks up 40 shots a game and goes on a scoring binge
2) When they inevitably begin losing, Kobe goes off on the organization, throwing EVERYONE under the bus, getting both Mitch Kupchak & Mike Brown canned by season’s end. I truly believe Kobe is our best shot at ever having a Player-Coach again.

1. Kevin Durant, MVP

With such a packed schedule and conditioning at a minimum, I would think defenses will be awful this year. Enter KD. My prediction: He makes a run at MJ’s post-Wilt scoring record of 37 ppg (which is all contingent on Russel Westbrook letting him shoot in the 4th quarter this season). He’s the best scorer in the league and watching him play basketball night-in, night out is the thing I’m looking most forward to in the NBA this season.

3 reasons the NBA regular season sucks


1. Players phoning it in on random nights
2. Ticket Prices: It’s a great game to watch in person but only if you want to sell a child on the black market or take out a second mortgage
3. Did I mention players phoning it in?

Break out player:

John Wall:I know this is what Bill Simmons wrote too, but I wrote this down 4 days before him. In any other year, he’s the ROY. The only way he won’t breakout this year is his teammates (a whole lot of garbage) or a self-inflicted injury because his teammates are so awful.

Break out team:

T-Wolves:A lot of talent and an underrated coach.

Team that takes a step back:

Lakers:More on this in a bit

Player:

Landry Fields

Best on-court storyline- Team Implosions: Knicks & Lakers:

With a shortened season, and a lot of games in a small amount of time, everything will be amplified, especially losing. Personally, I think both of these marquee squads are built to implode. When you run an offense dubbed “Seven Seconds or Less”, it probably isn’t a good thing to have a loaded front court. I’m sure the Knicks will score in the half-court offense, but it’s probably going to take their big men 7 seconds just to get down the damn court. I think this will drive D’Antoni crazier than a shit house rat and eventually lead to his ouster (or the trading of Amare for a point guard...good luck with that). I know they are signing Baron Davis but expecting him to be Ty Lawson is criminally insane, especially with all the great places to eat in NYC.

After David Stern cockblocked the Lakers and allowed their illegitimate child to take the girl (Chris Paul) home, I thought this team would at least rally around their core and figure out a way to go into total Eff You mode (Trademark: Bill Simmons) against the entire league. But when Kupchak jettisoned Lamar Kardashian and Kobe’s wife filed for divorce, suddenly things weren’t looking that good. Now, factor in five games (at least) without Andrew Luger, err, Bynum, an aging roster and a ton of pressure in a town with no winning teams right now (sorry Galaxy, your title doesn’t really count) and you’ve got the makings of a magnificent clusterfuck of a season...and I can’t wait to see it all up close.


"Tommy Chambers", former NBA All-Star and dunking machine


I think that it is fascinating that the league created a new rule in this new CBA. The rule is referred to as the Derrick Rose rule and it states that a player coming off of his rookie contract who has made two All NBA teams or has been named league MVP would be entitled to up to 30% of his teams cap space. Others coming off of their rookie deals would have a max contract not to exceed 25%. On the surface that is terrific for Rose but the ramifications are severe and unique to the Chicago Bulls. I can’t think that there has been or will be too many players who have accelerated to the level that Rose has, so quickly. I guess it is possible, but unlikely, that Blake Griffin could join this elite club. It really boils down to the league shackling one team with a cap burden that no other team will qualify for.


"Cornbread Maxwell", bench lengend for '80's Celtics

Top 5 things you are most excited about for the upcoming season.

1. Curious to see the NBA (NY, LA, BOS, Chic, Mia) contend….NBA is much better when these cities are good

2. Curious to see how the Knicks fair

3. See how and where all the free agent moves shake out and pan out for their respective teams

4. 62 games in 120 nights

5. D ROSE

The reason the NBA regular season sucks …

Guys don’t show up,

Break out team

Chicago Bulls will continue their ride to the top

Team/ player that takes a step back

Boston and Rajon Rondo

Best on-court storyline

Eddy Curry comeback

Best potential off court storyline

Eddy Curry gives back

Best random YouTube clip that should fire people up for the NBA season

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGlqU1ztdHk

Finals prediction

Miami over Dallas
Stay tuned for Part 2....

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