Bill Simmons loves to incorporate 80’s movies references into his columns or just write columns about 80’s movies and his favorite movie to write about or reference over the years has certainly been The Karate Kid as evidenced by this great breakdown of the Kid trilogy in 2002. So, without further ado I give a 2nd round breakdown of the NBA playoffs Karate Kid style…
Western Conference
Los Angeles Lakers played by…
Quote: “Here. You'll need to fill this out and send it in, okay? Just so they'll know where to claim the body.”
Character background: Johnny Lawrence was the king of Karate in the Valley. He had a great sensei leading the way, a decent supporting cast and the talent that made him a champion.
Team Breakdown: The Lakers are the defending champions. The Lakers are essential the bully of the West until somebody comes along and knocks them off. A new kid on the block (OKC) pushed them to the limit in round 1, but they stood their ground and moved on. They are still as cool in LA as rolling a joint in a bathroom stall and have all the tools to repeat as champions. Their supporting cast has some weak members, but they get by with advice from their sensei Phil Jackson and superstars Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol. There’s no question the Lakers are the favorites to come out of the West the only question remains can they repeat as champions?
Phoenix Suns played by…
Character: Daniel Larusso (portrayed by Ralph Macchio)
Quote: “No the problem is, I'm getting my ass kicked every other day, that's the problem.”
Character Background: Daniel Larusso reluctantly moved to Reseda, California from New Jersey, when his mom took a computer job that somehow wound up being a hostess job at a Chinese restaurant. He was hoping to at least meet some new friends, some girls and was praying his new school didn’t suck (eventually according to Larusso it did). What Larusso got was a batch of new friends that ditched him when he got his ass kicked on the beach, he did meet a girl, who was nice but later broke his heart (KK part 2) and a school where he immediately was the kid, who everyone wanted to kick his ass. Through all of this he befriended a Japanese janitor, learned karate and eventually won an All-Valley Karate tournament after getting injured in every match. Larusso took his lumps but at the end he earned some respect from the local bullies and was free to alienate people half across the globe and a pony-tailed rich guy.
Team Breakdown: The Phoenix Suns are in no way new to the playoffs, but the Phoenix Suns have long been labeled as soft and a team that doesn’t play defense. A lot of people think you can kick the Suns off their bike so to speak and they won’t get up. Well, as time has gone on over the course of this year and early on in the playoffs the Suns are starting to shed that label. They are starting to toughen up, play some defense and yet still maintain that run and gun style that has given them success in the regular season. Now, it has come time for them to do battle with their nemesis (Spurs) and their certainly going to have to pull out all the stops (Crane Kick?) if they want to advance and compete for a Western Conference championship
Utah Jazz played by…
Character: Bobby Brown (portrayed by Ron Thomas)
Quote: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!
Character Breakdown: Bobby was one of the top students at the Cobra Kai dojo and a remorseful tormentor of Daniel Larusso. Bobby was extremely loyal to his friends and his trusted sensei. He certainly knew his place among the Cobra Kai and for all accounts was fine with that. He even disqualified himself from the All-Valley tournament acting on behalf of his sensei and clearing the way for his friend Johnny Lawrence to fight an injured Larusso in the championship. Bobby clearly knew his role, but was still capable of a superstar performance on the mat and showed with his apology to Daniel that he was stand-up guy hanging out with a bunch of thugs.
Team Breakdown: The Jazz are clearly a team of role players lead by a very solid post player in Carlos Boozer and a superstar PG in Deron Williams. From watching the Jazz you can certainly see that Jerry Sloan is in control of his team from the sidelines and Deron Williams carries out those orders on the floor. The Jazz are a team that runs stuff and just doesn’t look to isolate players or match-ups the way many teams do in the NBA. Sloan knows how to put players in the right spot to maximize their talent. The way they are currently constructed and injured the Jazz aren’t capable of contending for a title, but are capable of testing the Lakers.
San Antonio Spurs played by…
San Antonio Spurs played by…
Character: Mr. Kesuke Miyagi (portrayed by Oscar Nominee Pat Morita)
Quote: In Okinawa, all Miyagi know two things: fish and karate.
Character Background: A decorated war hero, master of karate and now a lowly janitor for a run down apartment complex Miyagi is wise old man, who showed everyone the karate benefits of washing a car, sanding a deck and painting a fence. Daniel Larusso has a lot of questions and it seems Miyagi has all the answers because Miyagi has been there before. He has fought in a war and came out a hero, he was defended his honor against bullies and lived to tell about it and he even enjoys a relaxing drink to remind him of his glory days or kicking the shit out of a bunch of teenagers to show he still is a champion of karate. Even at his old age Miyagi is still capable of catching a fly with a chop stick, pruning the perfect Banzai tree and training a young student in the art and success of karate.
Team Background: The Spurs just won’t go away. This team is well coached and has ton of playoff experience and now has a solid young supporting cast to assist their decorated veterans. A fact I seemingly overlooked when I picked Dallas to win in the 1st round. Sure their superstars (Duncan, Ginobli, and Parker) are aging, but those players are playing with in themselves and letting some of the younger players shoulder the load in particularly George Hill. I don’t think anybody in the West (certainly Phoenix) wants to play the Spurs because they still are a dangerous team, who could put a beat down on a much younger team and on their best day is still a top caliber basketball team.
Stay tuned for Part 2. Enjoy the Western Conference theme song...
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